Half Headache

-first half papers on wall-

first half comprised of wall coverings, slight. walls painted white, evenly, over uneven surface. no holes to breathe. poster paper put behind bookshelf and stacked crates, adhered with clear thumb tacks at each of every 4 corners. large poster board of archaic aerial view of seattle with one corner cut off and missing, affixed with 5 large dark screws into the wall. (poster board is paper with foam in between). next is paper painted by meg in constructed wooden boxes, next is two posters put together with a hole cut out of the both of them, heavily stapled, next is a clock with hourly markings made from a cut up and reconstructed 'reconstruction site' poster. red converge cut-up behind a red chair. many random papers that can't hold explanation in the kitchen. 3 posters in the hallway. 6 posters on one edge of the living room wall in one vertical stack. fabric near the front door. all cling to the dead paint in ways that were specified as "not allowed" in our 6-month lease that we signed. (2 months ago).

-second half paper mâché on halves of brain-

i helped janine study for school she studied to memorize the many specific and tiny parts of the brain. i pointed to things and she told me the right term that she memorized almost every time and i remembered nothing of it. shes very smart sorry "she's very smart". i want to sleep so much but i have to get up so early for work now like 6:30am and i know that's not early for most but it's hard to adjust my brain and my life to that i know it seems like i'm a baby like i'm not even trying but i am trying i swear i am. sometimes to lay in a comatose pattern of waves in the folds of the skull we can just rock back and forth like the ocean without thinking and it's really nice to keep moving without any thought and just without any paperwork and just say "close your eyes" and keep sleeping without any words attached to paper. oh, to be painted over, to be elapsed in total bloated sin, with only an ethereal white mark to distinguish your body from the rest of the world, from dirt and trees and wonder. to blend like a thin coat over arms of apartments all over the bland sky-scape of amerciA.